I'm back, sooner than expected, to relay to you just how evil the junior mint is. (I know, don't end sentences in pronouns)
Last night I bought some Junior Mints before going to the movies. This was a wonderful idea because Junior Mints are incredibly tasty and Walgreens sells them for $1.29. Seems too good to be true? Well, no, it doesn't. Let me explain. As I've mentioned, Junior Mints are delicious, possibly the best movie candy available (Sno-Caps run a close second). They are virtually irresistable. So, when they turn against you, it is clearly a sign of evil.
When I first opened them in the theater, things were fine. It was only when I tried to close them, did I come across a problem. It was because of the Junior Mints Slot Conspiracy. While trying to close the box, my fingers slipped and I lost about 1/4 of the box. This left a Junior Mint minefield on the floor, and the soles of my shoes are now minty fresh. After the movie, I still had a number of Junior Mints left and decided to save them. I closed the box (carefully), and threw it in my bag. After running from the subway to the ferry, I sat down and opened my bag to grab some water. I was only mildly surprised to find 15 Junior Mints smeared on the interiors and contents of my bag. Regardless, I was not happy.
And so, this is where it is easy to see the evil in the Junior Mint. The Junior Mints people know that they have created an irresistable product, and they choose to screw with us by created a poorly designed box. (In addition to the flaw explained in the link, the available slot is quite small, leading to much "popping open.") In addition, the Junior Mint, which is peppermint goo encapsled in a chocolate shell, is not very sturdy. Rogue M&M's can survive an escape, even at the bottom of a bag, but the Junior Mint is helpless.
Therefore, my recommendation is that you fight back. Buy two candies, one box of Junior Mints and one box that is sturdy (candy does not matter). If you must use the box given to you, use tape or another adhesive to secure it. Just don't fall prey to the masterminds behind the Junior Mint.
11/16/02 2:53 PM
Sheesh... you've brought back memories of the time I chowed on Junior Mints at the movies when I was in the 5th grade. Those damn mints melted into the grooves of my brand-spanking-new cordoroys. Boy was my mother pissed.
11/18/02 4:19 PM
that is why i stick to malt balls.
03/13/03 5:48 PM
Ok, you are a little weird, but that was well written. Junior Mints are like my favorite candy, and I don't think they are evil. Maybe the boxes are weak where you are from, but here I think that they are just fine. Good luck in the future w/ your Junior Mints. Happy Minting!!
03/30/03 4:22 AM
hey. yeah well written, funny too. JMs are my fav candy to eat in classes. i like eating them during english and throughout school. eat 'em while playing counterstrike too, in between deaths.
boil 'em
blend 'em
scramble 'em
microwave 'em
you can also keep them in your car on a hot day, then come back. make sure it's at the point right before they're about to melt to the bottom of the box. it gets to a hot enough point were the chocolate disinigrates* in your mouth and u can pretty much only taste the cream.
-mischa
04/26/03 12:58 AM
I just want to go ahead and say that, Junior Mints are great. And to comment on your box troubles... problem just about solved. This evening I discovered the "Big Box Size" Junior Mint box. It's gigantic. Weighing in at an incredible 12.5 ounces, it's no small load. More to the point, there is a modified opening. To the left side of the box, you will find a dependable, shorter, and thicker opening. It secures quite nicely to ensure no leakage of any kind. This box will bring back the joy of Junior Mints that you may have lost...
07/16/03 8:07 AM
hi,
i live in australis and we dont have jnr mints but i have tried them a whole 2 boxes and would kill to have more. i would like to order some. can n e one help???
09/11/03 11:35 PM
I love Junior Mints. I have been an addict for years. I have eaten my accidentally made Junior Mint bars each time I leave a box in the car and have to rush it, STAT, to the fridge.. then I have to unwrap the box and eat it like a candy bar.
I have also spilled them in my purse and wound up with minty fresh photos and pens etc.
But I still love 'em.
I have owned the domain jrmints.com for about three years now. :)
Paula
09/12/03 2:07 AM
I*M LOSTTTTTT!!!!!! XP
haha ~~ juss playin!! i went 2 yahoo.com nd searched 4 "junior mints" ((i*m eatin it nd it*s my fav candy)) da FIRST page it came up 2 wuz dis...
JUNIOR MINTS R NOT EVIL!! i ok i kno i dunno u but oh well ~ LOL
[[ jennnnnnnnny ]]*
09/30/03 5:13 PM
If anyone has any dessert recipes that use junior mints please post the recipes to my website at http://recipes.netlobo.com. I have been looking for junior mint recipes for a long time!
Thanks!
11/07/03 8:13 PM
I have always loved junior mints except the darn box. Don't you hate it when you open a junor mint box and you opened it on the wrong side! Because I've done this so much, now I just open them on the wrong side to make a point. They should make it so we can open it on both sides. Other than that problem, i still love junior mints and they are still my favorite candy.
11/10/03 2:38 PM
some folks have waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on your hands.
11/22/03 11:21 PM
I like to put Junior Mints "back in the box", if you know what I mean. No more rushing to brush my teeth right after "eating". Minty fresh taste from start to finish. The only dessert that melts "in the box" and not in your hand. Mmmmm, Mmmmm good !!!
PS. My girlfriend loves them too ..... no calories.
11/28/03 6:39 PM
Typically, I love Jr. Mints, and thankfully (due to my being incapable of saving them) have never been in the position to curse their box (with the exception of not being able to decide which end is which in the darkness of the thearter thanks to the rather small writing ment to identify which end the slot is at). But yes, I've got a bit of a horror story involving Jr. Mints. On my way out of a CVS picking up stuff for the movies, I spot a box of Jr mints, right next to the Rasinettes, contemplating both for a moment, as I only had enough on me to get one, I decide that the Jr Mints are the superior of the two, and quickly grab them and go up to the cashier. All the way to the thearter my anticipation for eating the delicious little creamy mints covered in that thin layer of chocolate grew. Upon sitting in my seat, taking the box out of my pocket, opening it, and tilting the box, eagerly awaiting the little roundish things to fall into my hand, I'm greated instead by a clump of mushed chocolate covered in dried mintedness. Thinking that this couldnt possibly have much of an effect on how they taste, or their other texture, I bite into the glob. Cue disapointment. No, I wasn't eating creamy mints in pure chocolate...rather hard taffy like mint with bits of even harder chocolate shell sprinkled around. My entire movie experience was ruined. Instead of being able to enjoy the mediocare movie, which was ment to be enhanced by the delectable little mints, I had to sit through this mediocare show, picking hard bits of Jr. Mints out of my teeth. Yes, I still ate the entire box, but that is besides the point. There was no "creamy, flowing, refreshing light ment center surrounded with just the right amount of rich dark chocolate coating"...just crap!
Anyways, I shall never entirley disown the Mint....but next time, I might more readily opt for the Rasinettes...just in case.
12/13/03 3:45 AM
I've been struck by evil also...I just bought a box of JM's but forgot to shake it in the store to make sure they are not melted together (Highly likely). We'll needless to say, I opened the box only to find a big pile of chocolate and cream goo. I had to cut the box apart to get to their irresistabally clever taste...yum!
12/14/03 1:01 PM
Stop being mean about junior mints. Yes, it is true the box doesn't close securly, but then all of your belongings will have a wonderful junior mint scent.
01/06/04 10:59 PM
This is a note to candy man: junior mints definitely do have calories. but i love them anyway.
01/28/04 10:53 PM
I love junior mints! They are so tasty. I ate a whole box today. :-)
02/10/04 5:53 PM
One solution (and my favorite method): EAT the WHOLE DANG BOXFUL. Toss away empty box. No problemo.
02/24/04 8:42 PM
I want to buy a junior mints t-shirt so I can proudly display my love of the junior mint. Yum!
03/10/04 3:27 PM
This is wicked! somewhere to share my unnatural love of Junior Mints...Being from Ireland I'm used to spelling it with a "u" actually...I've been to the US a few times now and basically I'm running out of excuses to go I'm afraid I'll have to tell my friends and family the real reason Junior Mints! god damn theyre tasty...It's not fair why cant we have them! I brought back 6 boxes last month I know what you're thinking.."only six" I have a mere one box left I'm holding out for a big occasion...Although only qualifying as a Junior Mint amateur twas not long until I recognised The JM Slot Conspiracy
All the hairy chest from NI
11/20/04 10:14 PM
Love them!!! My favorite candy of all. But now, living in Australia, where it's not available, means I can only get some if I travel to the US or get people to bring some for me. I would love it if someone could tell me if it's sold online by a company that actually delivers outside the US. I've found a few but they only ship domestic, which is really frustrating.
Junior Mints Rule!!!!