I'm a big fan of Man vs. Wild, the Discovery show about a survival expert thrown into situations that require, well, survival. While that's the gist of the show, my two favorite subplots (and potential drinking games) are Bear telling war stories ("I knew a man who lived on beetle fur for 12 years in this rain forest) and Bear eating gross creatures then describing what they taste like. My secret desire was fulfilled when a clips show entitled "Bear Eats" came on last night. I was squeeling with joy.

While I recommend you try to watch the show (here's a schedule and here's a DIY video montage), I've decided to compile some of Bear's cooking and eating tips I gleaned from this episode. First, here's some info on the flavor explosion Bear experiences.

On long horned beetles: "It's like a big prawn that's been sitting around for weeks that's all shell and rotting guts."

On termites: "They taste like...a little bit zingy..not very nice citrus." "But termites pack a surprising 560 calories in every handful."

On raw wild snails: "It's like a giant, cold, bogie."

Bear is also an expert in nutritional info and cooking.

On boiled sheep eyes - "Icelanders eat almost every part of the sheep...even the eyeballs. Sheep eyeballs are extremely nutritious. They're high in protein and rich in vitamins A and D. Usually they're the first thing to rot, but in this cold weather, these are still good." He boiled the eyeball in a hot geothermal pool. They're okay to eat raw, but he's just trying to get rid of the bacteria. "It's like chewing gristle full of cold gloop." MMmmmmmm.

On roasted turtle - "I've always cracked the belly, gutted it, scraped all the meat out and ate like that. But in the Everglades the Seminoles used to cook it straight in its shell, sort of like a pressure cooker. Just put it [on the fire], leave it for an hour." "Cooking time will depend on the size of the turtle. One way to tell it's ready is when the shell is brittle and cracks." He hammers it with the his knife to expose the flesh. There's less than a half a gram of fat and no carbs or sugar. "Mmm, this is one of those times you can say it really does taste like chicken."

That's just the half of it, but I'll make you watch the show to see the rest. I love Bear.