I know it's been hot everywhere these past few weeks, but New York City has been painful. Today, the heat index was over 100 degrees. Obviously, that's hot. But when you're in a city packed as tightly as New York, the X factor plays a significant role.

The mysterious X makes your shoes sweat and turns the air into rotten butter. It makes my air conditioning cry blood. Other cities aren't like this. I've been in Chicago for Taste of Chicago when it was 95 degrees and it wasn't as bad. Imagine being surrounded by one million fat, sweaty tourists and thousands of pounds of hot italian beef, then know that New York is somehow worse. I don't know how or why, but it is.

This is why I am currently singing songs to my window A/C unit. I think it just whispered, "Put me out of misery." I wish I could, but it's only July 18th. There's way too much summer left.